i'm not the only one staring at the sun

the heat wave has broken. we don't understand the mechanics of the heat wave. when the sun beats down on us we do not care to find the why, we only care to run from the product of it. when the sun is gentler, when the breeze of summer sneaks on tiptoe through the shade-giving trees that surround the house, the yard, the neighborhood at large, we find it near-shameful to even consider the recollection of the sun's wrath.



we've yet to be billed for the recent usage of our air conditioning units. i really feel nearly sick about it. on a morning like this one, the robin singing "cheerio!" outside the study door, the sounds of the house breathing in and out, creaks in the floor, and cicadas and their shick-shick-shick pulsing in the trees and the leaves and the hedge, the steady flow of saturday traffic zipping down the street, no fans or motors white-noising a buzz throughout the house, one can only feel that the usage of air the past week or so, on and off, here and there, through speech and snore, was entirely an unfortunate, impatient, blunder on our part. how can it have been necessary when the sun burns a silver shadow-dance across the yard, the windows, the car asleep in the drive? was the need to enjoy the morning coffee, the afternoon espresso, in the cold of the house worth it? was the hot itch of the wooly mashad on the bottoms of my feet bothersome enough to merit an outlandishly large cips bill? were the damp hairs of jude's head, the sweating curls of henry, the sticky purple strands on the back of my neck, unbearable enough to justify exchanging cash (that could have been blown on books or cds) for cold?

of course we shout yes! it is august, after all, the month of poppy and peridot. school starts in a week and a half. we will once again enjoy excursions to the park, as the parentally unattended, cursing and fighting children will be bussed off to school and i won't have to worry about henry picking up undesirable behavior or language from a seven year old smoker. we will remove sweaters from the closet, shoes will again be somewhat desireable, socks, jeans, and other autumn whatnot. a week or two of air-conditioned living will be nearly forgotten by both body and book.